Each time I return to the Bay Area, I’m hit with a wave of homesickness. The perfect weather, the laid back lifestyle. The beaches, the mountains. Green everywhere. Wow, I always think. I should move back.

And yet, something is missing. Wandering Palo Alto this morning I finally realized what it is: hot girls. Women in New York are just better looking than in San Francisco. I’m not entirely sure why, but it’s indubitably true.

Cue up the Sinatra. Start spreadin’ the news, I’m leaving today…