What an egotistical bastard, you’re thinking. True. But I’m in good company; after all, I’m a trumpet player. A few quotes to illustrate:

“We grow up hearing that trumpeters blew down the walls of Jericho, that Gabriel’s trumpet announces the will of God, and that the largest, and hippest, of all animals, the elephant, has a trunk mostly for trumpeting. These grandiose images shape the classic trumpet persona: brash, impetuous, cocky, cool, in command. Anyone who has ever played in a band knows that if the conductor stops rehearsal because a fight breaks out, if somebody takes your girlfriend, if someone challenges every executive decision no matter how trivial, it’s got to be a trumpet player. That’s just how we are.”
— Wynton Marsalis

“[Trumpeters] don’t want to wear black tie; they want to wear capes and swords and tassels; they want to play as loud as they can and see mallards drop from the ceiling.”
— Garrison Keillor

Ah, you’re thinking. This explains so much.