Or, an example of my semi-charmed life, wherein I essentially Ferris Bueller my way through and it all somehow works out in my favor.

Setting: A Duane Reade drug store in Midtown. I am at the counter, ready to purchase a can of shaving cream and a roll of paper towels. It is 7:08pm; the drugstore supposedly closed at 7:00pm.

Girl frantically runs up to the counter, sun tan lotion in hand.

Woman behind the counter: We’re closed.

Girl: But I leave on vacation tomorrow morning – couldn’t you ring in just one more thing?

Woman behind the counter: I said, we’re closed. [Gesturing towards me] He’s the last one.

Me: She can take my spot.

Woman behind the counter: [Momentarily stunned by the sight of a New Yorker acting kindly] Well…

Girl: [Profusely] Thank you!

Me: [Noticing girl is extremely attractive] Really, it’s not a problem.

Woman behind the counter: [Having regained composure] I guess I could check out both of you.

Me: [To hot girl, feebly attempting humor] We’re lucky; normally they turn into pumpkins at the stroke of seven.

Woman behind the counter: [Saving me from making further stupid Cinderella jokes] Hey, you two make a cute couple. I think it’s fate you both ended up here at the same time. [To me] You should ask her out.

Me: [Embarrassed laughter]

Hot Girl: [Expectant look]

Me: [Suddenly even more awkward] Actually, I would love to take you out for drinks…

Hot Girl: Absolutely! [Jotting down her phone number on a blank prescription form found discarded at the next register]

Me: [Still somewhat shocked by this turn of events] By the way, I’m Joshua…

[Girl and I converse further as we leave the Duane Reade and walk for a couple of blocks in the same direction. We have established a date for next week by the time our paths diverge. I spend the rest of the evening smiling like an idiot and walking on clouds.]

Fin.