From what I can recall:

7:30: Dinner with Sarina, Yoav and Randy. Sarina cooked, I pitched in as potato-masher and wine bottle-opener. Excellent.

9:30: Over to Bemelmans at the Carlyle to meet Shibani (in from Cleveland), her boyfriend Darren, and his mom (in from Australia). Jazz courtesy of Loston Harris, former piano player of the Lincoln Center Jazz Orchestra.

11:00: Meet back up with Yoav and Sarina at Amelia’s birthday party at Noche in Times Square. Bachelorette party is simultaneously taking place at bar and bachelorette has t-shirt emblazoned with checklist of things she needs to get random guys at the bar to do; Yoav has apparently already given her his boxers (replete with Seven Dwarfs pattern). I escape having only to buy her a round of vodka shots and kiss her on camera.

1:00: Side trip with Sarina, Amelia and Chandre for drunken hamburger eating at McDonalds down the block.

1:15: Back to Noche to assist Yoav in rescuing two early-twenties girls unhappily surrounded by balding men in their early fourties.

1:30: Escort girls to Single Room Occupancy a few blocks away; gain instant street cred by knowing location of the bar, as one of the two had heard that SRO existed, but had never been able to find out exactly where.

2:00: Apparently, second (cuter) girl is in for the weekend from Syracuse, where she’s working on her masters. Yoav and I exchange glances on this fact, as girl seems to have brains of toothpaste.

2:30: Ah, masters is in fitness education. Right.

3:00: Wait, how much have I had to drink by now?

4:00: In moment of clarity, realize would regret immensely actually going home with either girl. Say my goodbyes, stagger back to apartment and, after some difficulty negotiating the stairs, collapse on bed still partially dressed.

11:00: Solemnly vow to never, ever drink again so long as I live. Or at least not until later this evening.