While I’ve immensely enjoyed it thus far, the ongoing facial hair experiment is quickly hurtling towards a serious decision point. Specifically, in about three weeks, I head off to Hawaii for a brief vacation (life is hard, I know), and unless I de-beard preemptively, I’m likely to return to New York with an inverted beard tan. I’d then be forced to skip shaving until the darkest depths of winter, by which time the entirety of my face would presumably return to the faintly fluorescent pale green skin tone that all trapped-indoors-by-office-work New Yorkers seem to possess.

So, there it is: whip out the Gillette today, or stay bearded for the next six months? I’m at such a complete loss that I’m bucking self-aggrandizement tradition and giving you, fair reader, a chance to comment away with your invaluable guidance. Help, help, help!