Tonight begins Passover, a Jewish holiday involving eating lots of matzah, an unleavened bread apparently designed to induce constipation. (Catholics amongst you may be more familiar with the bread as the bite-sized ‘crispy Jesus’ served up for Communion.) Like most Jewish holidays, Passover (or Pesach, in Hebrew) is based on the time-tested formula:

1. They tried to kill us.
2. God saved us.
3. Let’s eat.

In this case, ‘they’ being Pharaoh, the saving coming in the form of the ten plagues, and the eating (unfortunately) largely existing in the form of the aforementioned matzah. Still, at least during each of the first two nights, the eating also entails holding a seder, a ritualized festive meal involving a retelling of the story of Moses and the Jewish people’s escape from Egypt, as well as eating enough brisket, kugel and matzah-ball soup (all Jewish soul foods) in one sitting to kill a small family, all the while your Grandmother egging you on (“look at you, you’re skin and bones! Eat, eat!”)

While such seders occur only on the first two nights (likely for the safety of Jews’ collective digestive tracts), the holiday of Passover itself runs eight days total, and throughout the entire stretch any non-matzah bread products (as well any rice, corn or legumes) are strictly forbidden. Which, for me, shouldn’t be too bad, as I try to eat Paleo most of the time anyhow. Still, throughout the rest of the year, I tend to stray from the Paleo approach whenever the urge strikes (occasionally picking up a slice of Ray’s fine pizza around the corner, for example); with the constraints of Passover in place, it’s Paleo or nothing, and the sudden knowledge that I can’t sneak in some pasta leaves me craving it full time. So, I’m off to a business lunch, where I’ll be carbo-loading like it’s my job. As we recite during each seder, “all who are hungry – come and eat.”