As I haven’t blogged about it for several weeks, a handful of readers have written in to ask if I was still seeing The Girl, who I’ll henceforth call Jess, mainly because that’s her name.

And, in short, yes I absolutely still am. In fact, for her birthday last Friday, I gave her a small, metal Eiffel Tower, redeemable for a long weekend trip to Paris. So, yes, still dating, and, yes, still serious. But, at the same time, and contrary to my brother’s strongly held belief, I absolutely, positively, 100% will not be proposing while in Paris, or at any point in the near future. A long-standingly commitment-phobic tiger can only move so fast in changing his stripes.

Also for her birthday, I gave her a cake. About two weeks before the day, she told me that she didn’t really like birthdays, and didn’t really want any presents. The next day, she pointed out that perhaps she’d like a cake. The day after, it was a cake from Carvel. Then a vanilla ice cream Carvel cake. Then, day by successive day, one with some chocolate ice cream at the bottom, and a layer of oreo crunchies, a round cake, one with a ring of blue frosting and rainbow sprinkles and “Happy Birthday Jess!!” in pink icing on top.

On the morning of her birthday, I went to pick up the pre-ordered, pre-specified cake, and discovered that, while almost perfect, it was instead emblazoned with “Happy Birthday Jeff!!” in pink curlique. And though, in the end, I had them fix it, lest her friends think I was a total moron, I was sorely tempted to keep it Jeff-ed, as I was rightly sure she’d think it was uproariously funny.

Which is, in short, why she’s exactly my type.