Though I’ve subscribed to the Paleo Diet in theory for nearly a decade, in practice, my adherence during that time has been 80/20 at best. At the end of the day, while I’m sure that pasta is slowly killing me, I’m even more sure it’s absolutely delicious.

Gemelli, however, is a Paleo zealot. We’ve tried to give him dog biscuits, gourmet canine cookies, and any of the other treats he’s supposed to like, all of which he barely chews before spitting out. Instead, his favorite snack at the moment is freeze-dried beef liver, followed closely by salmon jerky. Last week, as I was making stuffing for Thanksgiving, he snuck off with several just-washed carrots and celery stalks, which he gleefully devoured while hiding under a side table, as if both were so delicious they had to be forbidden.

Similarly, Gem won’t eat any grain-based kibble, so we’ve instead been feeding him Orijen and Stella & Chewy, two essentially Paleo dog foods. Reading through the ingredient lists on both, I realized he eats better than we do: Orijen, for example, is comprised of wild salmon and trout, free-range poulty and eggs, grass-fed beef, bison and lamb, and organic vegetables.

And despite that, his food costs us mere dollars a day. I considered switching Jess and me to the stuff, until I realized that his calorie consumption was probably a bit less than ours, given his six pound bodyweight. Working backwards from our relative sizes, the cost savings stopped looking so good.

Which is probably just as well. I tried one of those Orijen kibbles, and was reminded by its taste that the only thing Mel loves better than Paleo foods is the smell of other dogs’ butts.