In a brilliant parenting move, my mother used to let my brother and me sell her as much of our Trick-or-Treating haul as we were willing to part with. At a cost of what couldn’t have been more than $20 all in, we gleefully handed over at least half of the candy collected, reducing the odds of both our developing childhood diabetes and our making her totally crazy from weeks of sugar-addled antics.

Still, candy sales paled in comparison to the more crucial candy swapping: trading terrible stuff with friends who had poor candy taste, and who’d give you something you actually wanted to eat in exchange for pointless crap like Almond Joy and Mr. Goodbar.

So I particularly enjoyed this helpful instructional video, on how to trade candy like a pro: