Yoga is big in New York City. Really big. Advertisements for classes are everywhere, and I’ll frequently catch my friends and coworkers – even the ones I’d least suspect of being secret yoga acolytes – toting the tell-tale little mat. Frankly, I’ve been curious. Just last weekend, I had lunch with a college friend – previously one of the bitchier girls I knew – who had been doing yoga for several months and now had purged herself of negativity, would only say kind things about others. Whatever was happening in that yoga class must have been powerful stuff.

Still, I’ve been more than a bit skeptical of the yoga movement. After all, I’ve observed hundreds of classes from the corner of my eye while at the gym, and from what I could tell, yoga consists mainly of awkward, oddly-named stretching movements held while an overly flexible guru repeats the importance of ‘centering ones mind’ in the tone of voice normally found only in the extremely stoned or those suffering from affective disorders.

My father, a sports medicine physician and my erstwhile workout buddy, had apparently been curious as well. Since I’m staying with my parents here in Palo Alto, he decided to take advantage of my presence (sort of a ‘safety in numbers’ deal) to give yoga a test run. He had picked up a Living Arts yoga DVD (as their pilates DVD is one of the best), and last night we took a run through the beginning yoga workout. In short, it was mainly similar to the stretching routine I already do in preparation for kickboxing, the only differences being:

1. They aren’t ‘stretches,’ they’re ‘poses’ or ‘asanas.’

2. They’re not named ‘seated hamstring stretch’ or ‘standing hip flexor stretch’, they’re named ‘corpse pose,’ ‘downward dog pose’ and ‘warrior pose.’ (The final one evidencing why India had never become a world military power, as most other cultures would have seen more of a ‘guy who thinks he’s a warrior but is really just asking for a severe beating pose.’)

3. The routine concluded with a solemn statement of “namaste,” or (roughly translated from sanskrit) “I honor the place in you in which the entire universe dwells. I honor the place in you, which is of light and peace. When you are in that place in you and I am in that place in me, we are one.”

Apparently, I wasn’t in that place in me of light and peace where the entire universe dwells, because the instructor struck me as, basically, a moron. More than once, I also caught myself thinking: “You mean, if I do this for years, I’ll end up looking and acting like this guy? Looks like I’ve done just about enough yoga, thanks.”

It was definitely worthwhile though. Just one hour and my yoga curiosity is fully sated – you’ll never see me in the ‘powerful mountain pose’ again. Namaste.