After staying out way too late on a date last night, salsa dancing at a little club on the Lower East Side, I woke up this morning with a sore throat, a slight fever, and a general case of the I-don’t-want-to-leave-my-apartment blaahs.

So, with that in mind, and with my pending move cross-town to Hell’s Kitchen only about a month off, I spent most of today taking everything I own off of shelves and out of closets and cabinets, and then putting everything back in place, in an attempt to weed out the random items that clutter my home despite the fact that I’ll never, ever use them again.

The pile I’ve accumulated in the center of my living room now contains such gems as a circa 1997 cell phone (approximate weight, 32 pounds), a Gap sweater vest (also, apparently, circa 1997, as I don’t believe I’ve seen one worn since – ah, if only I still had a pair of carpenter jeans to complete the quasi-retro look), and the utterly fascinating read Advanced Computational Techniques in Biological Statistics.

Yessir, I may still feel stick as a dog, but now I’m also brimming with the joy of good-Samaritan-ness, as I’ll be giving that pile away and helping people! Whoo boy will some homeless guy be lucky to get his hands on that stat textbook! Even better, this being New York (where even McDonalds delivers), apparently I don’t even have to leave my home to make the donation. Come Monday morning, some poor sap from Goodwill will be coming to my apartment to cart all those gems away.

But that’s just the kind of guy I am: helping to change the world, one act of lazy indifference that, being reasonably borderline in terms of global karmic impact, might be mistakenly construed as loving kindness at a time.