By now, I’ve been meditating (mostly) daily for about five years. And, as a result, I sometimes get questions about the upsides – or, really, just about the point – of a regular meditation practice.

In truth, I can’t say that I’m a wildly different person because of it. I don’t see the world completely anew, nor do I think or act with a calm or insight or balance that I wouldn’t have before. But I do, at least, notice my thoughts and actions – and, even more so, my feelings – with a clarity and precision and objectivity that I couldn’t before beginning meditating.

Sometimes, I’ll be arguing with my brother on the phone, and suddenly see myself from the outside; hey, I think, you’re pissed off, and needlessly being a dick to him. At which point, if I’m honest, I then keep being a dick, at least a good percentage of the time. But, sometimes, by noticing, I can change course.

Anyway, from that noticing, I’ve also discovered that, more than anything else, my crappiest moods happen when someone I care about feels anxious or upset. Today, Jess had a terrible morning, and worrying about her and how she’s feeling right now has my stomach tied in knots. Her crappy day isn’t because of anything deeply serious; by the end of the week, she’ll likely have rebounded completely. Further, even in the short term, I’m certain my own distress on her behalf does absolutely nothing to help. Still, I spent the last few hours feeling pretty terrible.

So, I sat for 20 minutes of meditation, and looked at that feeling. I breathed, and considered it from a distance. After which, I’m still anxious and upset. But now, I can also see my worry and stress for what it is – empathy for someone I love – and I can keep it in my mind and heart while also carrying on with the rest of my day.

Perhaps that’s not much. But, for me, it’s meaningful enough that I’m happy to keep up the mediation habit, day in and day out, as life rolls ahead.