“Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”
– Thomas Edison

Things should be quieting down on my end shortly, which means time again for blogging. Stay posted.

To all my goyish readers, merry Christmas!

And for those readers who, like me, will be spending tomorrow watching movies and eating Chinese food, a timeless classic:

Twas the night before Chanukah,
boychicks and maidels
Not a sound could be heard,
not even the draidels.

The Menorah was set on the chimney, alight
In the kitchen the Bubba hut gechapt a bite.
Salami, pastrami, a glessala tay
And zayerah pickles with bagels, oy vay!

Gezunt and geschmack, the kinderlech felt
While dreaming of tagelach and Chanukah gelt.
The clock on the mantlepiece away was tickin’
And Bubba was serving a schtickala chicken.

A tumult arose like a thousand brauches,
Santa had fallen and broken his tuches.
I put on my slippers, eins, tsvay, drei,
While Bubba was now on the herring and rye.

I grabbed for my bathrobe and buttoned my gotkes
While Bubba was busy devouring the latkes.
To the window I ran and to my surprise
A little red yarmulka greeted my eyes.

Then he got to the door and saw the Menorah,
“Yiddishe kinder,” he said, “Kenehora.
I thought I was in a goyisha hoise,
But as long as I’m here, I’ll leave a few toys.”

With much gesshray, I asked, “Du bist a Yid?”
“Avada, mein numen is Schloimey Claus, kid.”
“Come into the kitchen, I’ll get you a dish,
A guppell, a schtickala fish.”

With smacks of delight, he started his fressen,
Chopped liver, knaidlach and kreplah gegessen.
Along with his meal, he had a few schnapps,
When it came to eating, this boy was the tops.

He asked for some knishes with pepper and salt,
But they were so hot, he yelled “Oy Gevalt.”
Unbuttoning his haizen, he rose from the tisch,
And said, “Your Kosher essen is simply delish.”

As he went to the door, he said “I’ll see you later,
I’ll be back next Pesach, in time for the Seder.”
More rapid than eagles his prancers they came,
As he whistled and shourted and called them by name:

“Now Izzy, now Morris, now Yitzak, now Sammy,
Now Irving and Maxie, and Moishe and Mannie.”
He gave a gesshray as he drove out of sight:
“Gooten Yontiv to all, and to all a good night.”

“The thankful receiver bears a plentiful harvest.”
– William Blak

“Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.”
– Marcel Proust

“I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.”
– Woody Allen

“Beware of entrance to a quarrel, but being in, bear ‘t that the opposed may beware of thee.”
– Polonius, to his son; Shakespeare’s Hamlet

“There cannot be a stressful crisis next week. My schedule is already full.”
-Henry Kissinger

“It is the patriot’s blood that seeds Freedom’s tree.”
– Thomas Campbell

On Christmas Eve, a father puts a gold watch into one son’s stocking, and horse manure into the other son’s.

The following day, the first boy comes to his father and glumly says, “Dad, I ust don’t know what I’ll do with this watch. It’s so fragile. It could break.”

The other boy runs to him and says, “Daddy! Daddy! Santa left me a pony, if only I can just find it!”

[Via the excellent What Makes Us Happy?].

“All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That’s his.”
– Oscar Wilde

Happiest Mother’s Day wishes, and a lifetime of gratitude,
xo
j

“If you think you have things under control, you’re not going fast enough.”
– Mario Andretti