If you really, really have to pee, and your roommate is taking an exceedingly extended shower in your apartment’s only bathroom, how unacceptable is it for you to pee in the sink?

On the heels of Wednesday’s dumb joke come two wildly inappropriate ones. My apologies in advance:

1.
Q. What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?
A. The Holocaust.

2.
Q. What’s better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics?
A. Not being retarded.

Q. What do you call cheese that doesn’t belong to you?
A. Nacho cheese.

[courtesy of long-standing friend Jenny Meyer]

When, as is all the rage, somebody says “good times, good times,” if you nod your head in agreement and say “epic times,” you totally win.

Speaking of which: my birthday, July 16th, is in exactly nine days. Start shopping.

An American, a Canadian, an Israeli, a Nigerian and a Swede walk into a German bar. After a few rounds of drinks, they decide to stay for dinner.

[Ed. Note: Yes, I know that isn’t funny; but it’s what I actually did last night.]

Though, over time, I’ve progressed closer and closer to a Good Will Hunting view of education (“You wasted $150,000 on an education you coulda got for a buck fifty in late charges at the public library.”), occasionally I’m hit with a pang of ivory tower remorse. Perhaps, I catch myself thinking, there is something to be gained from time in the world of academia. Perhaps heading back for a PhD would be a noble, worthwhile pursuit that would enrich…

And then, at that point, just as such thoughts crescendo to their most feverish pitch, I fortunately and inevitably come across something like this.

Open Source Judaism / The Gashlycrumb Tinies

Woman: Do you smoke after sex?

Man: I don’t know. I’ve never looked.

Buried under a pile of work as things move ahead on several different fronts at once. Will be back to blogging shortly.