Sometimes, it seems, everything goes wrong all at once.

Sports Reporter: “Did you ever think, in your wildest dreams, that you

While I’m doubtless headed straight to hell myself, for those still in reach of salvation, check out Dr Kraw’s Guide to Better Living for Young Adults at Risk. As the good doctor says, “A ‘comdom’ [sic] (rubber prophylactic), is no protection of your morals!” And remember, “‘Rock And Roll’ is an enticing and exciting form of ‘Music’, BUT: It contains secret messages from the DEVIL HIMSELF!”

“What would your mother do if she knew you were giving your soul over to Beelzebub?” Mom?

The dangerous end result of a dramatically dipping readership in a previously well respected publication: exhibit A.

is not on my list of recommended frozen entr

Who wouldn’t want a Dog-in-a-Shell?

Po-chang needed a master for his new monastery, so he called all his monks together and set a pitcher before them saying, “Without calling it a pitcher, tell me what it is.”

The head monk replied, “You couldn’t call it a piece of wood.”

The cook walked up and kicked over the pitcher spilling the water and walked away.

The cook was put in charge of the new monastery.

While I had planned on heading up to New Haven for the weekend to catch up with some college friends and to swing by a birthday party for the founders of a company I previously sat on the board of, I instead spent the day at home, feeling like crap, cooped up inside my apartment with a pretty good case of strep throat. As I’ve been running a fever and feeling too crappy to focus for long on anything important, my FreeCell game has been improving immensely.

Apparently, whoever said money can’t buy happiness was wrong.

Less than two months until my birthday (which, of course, you’ve already penciled into your calendar for July 16th) and therefore time to officially begin constructing an elaborate birthday wish list, the first and foremost item being this.