“An audience is never wrong. An individual member of it may be an imbecile, but a thousand imbeciles together in the dark – that is critical genius.”
– Billy Wilder

From the Talmud, a collection of Jewish writings in the 1st and 2nd century:

Be very careful if you make a woman cry, because God counts her tears. The woman came out of a manís rib. Not from his feet, to be walked on. Not from his head, to be superior. But from the side, to be equal. Under the arm, to be protected, and next to the heart, to be loved.

“We die only once, and for such a long time.”
– Moliere

“Happiness makes up in height for what it lacks in length.”
– Robert Frost

“A firm defense of quiet material pleasure is the only way to oppose the universal folly of Fast Life.”
– Slow Food International Manifesto

“There are very few people who don’t become more interesting when they stop talking.”
– Mary Lowry

haru tatsu ya
gu no ue ni mata
gu ni kaeru

[spring begins–
more foolishness
for this fool]
– Kobayashi Issa, 1823

“I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake – which I also keep handy.”
– W. C. Fields

“Upon the king! let us our lives, our souls, Our debts, our careful wives, Our children and our sins lay on the king! We must bear all. O hard condition, Twin-born with greatness, subject to the breath Of every fool, whose sense no more can feel But his own wringing! What infinite heart’s-ease Must kings neglect, that private men enjoy!”
– Wm. Shakespeare, in Henry V

“I feel sorry for people who donít drink or do drugs. Because someday theyíre going to be in a hospital bed, dying, and they wonít know why.”
– Redd Foxx

“If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way.”
– Mark Twain